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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

Kelly Oxford is . . .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon

A terrible liar

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      May 27, 2013
      In these disjointed autobiographical essays, L.A.-based writer, Twitter celebrity, and mom Oxford per-forms a flatfooted exercise in pointlessness. Framed by silly dialog with her three children ("Did you write this book to make dough?" eight-year-old Hen asks), Oxford's erratic chapters relay cherished memories from a not-so-long-ago youth: her early attempts to stage a production of Star Wars at her French Canadian immersion school, a first job washing dishes at the popular Schitzelhaus, pot-smoking teenage shenanigans with her best friend Aimee (such as traveling to Las Vegas to meet the about-to-be-a-big-star Leonardo DiCaprio), finding her future husband while working at a diner, and freaking out after becoming a mother in her early twenties without a "backup" secondary degree. Though pithy moments can be found, these stories often succumb to aimlessness. A trip to Las Vegas to meet magician David Copperfield, who provides a gracious reception after becoming a fan of Ox-ford's on Twitter, and a trip to Disneyland with her family prove feeble fodder for hilarity. The humor is wackily contrived, nearly slapstick, possessing little irony, tension, or subtlety. Instead, exclamation points lead the way like a banal laugh track and scatological references seem like a desperate plot for reaction.

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  • OverDrive Listen audiobook

Languages

  • English

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