Marriage Be Hard

July 18, 2022
The Love Hour podcasters Kevin and his wife Melissa Fredericks dial up the laughs in their candid debut about the trials of marriage. “Staying married takes some serious work, and everyone needs as much support as they can get,” they write, and to that end they draw on their relationship troubles to offer guidance on resolving marital difficulties. The authors recount how Melissa felt slighted after Kevin purchased a car without consulting her because he thought it would be “the manly thing” to do, and they counsel readers to be honest with themselves about their desires and to be transparent with their partners. On sex, they describe growing up “churchy” and believing that abstinence meant purity, a belief they suggest left them ill-equipped to build a healthy sex life, which they found requires “first knowing yourself and then revealing yourself.” To improve communication, the authors provide such “relationship check-in” questions as “How would you identify yourself and the roles you play in your relationship?” and “Do you have unspoken needs that aren’t being met?” The authors’ humor (“Sex was God’s idea, and what an idea it was!”) and willingness to probe intimate details of their relationship (“I have felt devastatingly alone even when Kevin was right in the next room”) contribute to the appeal. The result is a funny and deeply sincere look at improving one’s marriage.